Earlier this week, I wrote a blog about gratitude and the
frustration I’ve been having with feeling walked-on lately. I don’t like that
post; it was short-sighted and self-centered. I came across something this week
that gave me pause, helped mend some of my wounds and reconcile with some of
the frustrations I’ve run into recently. Funnily enough, it was on the AMM
website under a section about volunteering that I (ironically) hadn’t read before.
Why I felt compelled to peruse the AMM website yesterday, I don’t know, but it
seems like I went almost immediately to this:
“Do not give to the poor expecting to get their gratitude so
that you can feel good about yourself. If you do, your giving will be thin and
short-lived, and that is not what the poor need; it will only impoverish them
further. Give only if you have something to give; give only if you are someone
for whom giving is its own reward.”
It made me stop and think about the nature of giving rather
than of receiving and what could be the downfalls of both of these, if not done
with grace. It made me think about the fact that I am here because I want to
give and I want to share who I am and what I have. I want to receive who other
people are and what they have. And even if things don’t go the way I think they
should, it doesn’t mean that things are going wrong. Things are just going
differently than I’d planned. And that’s okay; the universe will never cow-tow
to my every whim, nor would I want it to. Living life in all of its fullness – in
all of its joys, sorrows, pains, and complications - is what I am meant to do. It is what we are
all meant to do. It’s not about the destination and it’s not about getting to
the next high point or trying to weasel your way out of a cork-screw loop; it’s
about the ride. It’s about the experience. And this is all part of that, good
and bad. It is all part of life.
On a completely unrelated note, I wanted to share this
picture of one of our Itipini kids, Xolelwa! (I’ve been trying to find a place
to put squeeze it in)
Uxolo,
Karen
Thank you for your thoughtful and challenging reflections
ReplyDeleteIt is OK to feel frustrated, and self-centered from time to time. The most important part is not staying in that place. The Holy Spirit guided you to the resource you needed to snap you out of your funk. We, at St. Dunstan's are proud of you, and pray for you!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how God knows what we need and when. :) Our Father is alive and tending to his children.
DeleteThanks, Melea. I'm thinking about you guys all the time and missing St. D's every Sunday. Send my love to all this week! :)
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