Irreparably Changed

At our orientation in Toronto, a lot of what was talked about in reference to what it’s like to live in other cultures seemed so distant to me at times. Those kinds of things were only conceptual to me and I couldn’t really grasp them. I couldn’t attach anything concrete and sometimes found myself lost. Now that I am here, six weeks in, I keep finding myself going back to some of those things that were said. All of these little things that I just kind of glazed over in training keep coming back to me. I keep having these moments where I think, “Oooh… so this is what they were talking about.” Today, I had a moment like that. I had dinner at Jenny’s house tonight with Jenny, Fr. Cass (a Catholic priest that came to South Africa in the late 60’s to fight Apartheid), and a woman named Victoria who is from New Zealand and has been here doing work with children’s homes and children’s rights. At one point, we were all sharing our favorite “South African-isms” and Fr. Cass said that living in South Africa is like catching malaria – there’s no cure and you will find yourself relapsing for the rest of your life. He said that there’s something about this place that will never let go of you and always pulls you back.

It got me thinking about how fond I’ve already grown of this place. At training, it was said that when you spend even two weeks in a foreign culture, you are irreparably changed. Never having been outside of the United States/Canada, I didn’t know what this meant at the time, but now I think I understand. South Africa is no longer a concept to me. It’s no longer some foreign place that I’ve only read about in books. Africa is no longer just that continent across the Atlantic. This culture and this language are no longer “other” from me. This is real. I know this place and I know these people. It is and they are a part of me now. If I left today, after only 6 weeks, my life is changed. What will the next 46 bring?

Heritage Day

This week at the Project, we celebrated Heritage Day! Heritage Day is a national holiday that celebrates the array of different peoples that make up South Africa. It celebrates the importance of all South Africans in the development and culture of the country as a whole. At Itipni, everyone showed up in their traditional dress, our morning singing was especially exuberant, and the preschoolers spent most of the day dancing and singing! Jenny even brought me a couple traditional items to wear and Masakude did my make up! Everyone got a big kick out of it. The whole community was alive and buzzing and I don’t think I saw a single frown all day!

Noxolo and Nolundi

Preschoolers singing and dancing!

Thanks for tuning in!

Peace,
Karen

"Slow Clutch"

After two weeks of learning to drive stick and still feeling very amateur, these two words taught me the entire concept of how to drive a manual car. Two days ago, when I was set with the task of driving in town by myself for the first time to take some patients to other hospitals, I squealed the tires more times than I could count and stalled out twice in the stop and go traffic. After our stop at Mthatha General Hospital, a man named Mthetheleli Mbeseli, who was riding in the back, got into the front seat and began guiding my driving. He spoke very little English and just said the words “slow clutch,” the next time I had to start moving again. He repeated it again anytime I shifted. And with the simplicity of that statement, the entire concept came clear to me. Voila! Now I feel very confident in my ability to drive a stick. I even kept myself in place on a hill today only using the clutch and gas – no break! Who knew that someone who has probably never owned a car and speaks a language that I am struggling to learn could teach me, in two words, how to drive. After he said that to me and we were all cruising right along, we even simultaneously pleaded with a stoplight to turn green, he in Xhosa and me in English, and the whole car cheered together when it did. 

That trek began as terrifying one but ended joyously because of two words, a helping hand, and a spirit of camaraderie. More than anything, though, it has made me think about the power of simplicity and how so much can often be revealed in so few words. When something is said simply and clearly, there isn’t any room left for confusion. “Ndifuna isonka” means “I want bread” in Xhosa and there’s no mistaking what it means when a child says it. Furthermore, we use the simplest phrases for the things with the most meaning in our lives. “Be safe,” “I love you,” and “I miss you,” are a few that come to mind presently. It makes me wonder if it is because of the depth of these statements that we keep them short and have faith that the rest is inherently implied. We say very little because the meaning is not in our words, but in our relationships with each other. The same is true in this story. The words “slow clutch” revealed not only the concept of driving standard to me, but also revealed an acceptance and an understanding from the Itipini people that were in my truck. That acceptance and understanding is worth more than I have words for. It has made me feel like I will be able to find a place for myself within this community and has affirmed to me that the people at Itipini have more to teach me than I know.  

Thanks for tuning in!

Peace,

Karen

Driving in Mthatha

Today, I drove in town for the first time on a weekday. Driving in Mthatha is unexplainable. You really have to experience it to know what I mean. It wouldn’t be a normal day if at least one stoplight (they’re called Robots here) were not out. Cross walks are optional and people generally don’t take the option. Pot holes are everywhere. There are the “Transkei Big Five” wandering about and sometimes in the road – that’s cows, horses, goats, sheep, and dogs.  As well, what could be considered “reckless driving” in the States is generally the norm here. People here say that if you can drive in Mthatha, you can drive anywhere, but I think that if I drove in Oklahoma the way I do here, I would be pulled over on suspicion of DUI. It’s kind of like playing Frogger, but in real life. Some days, it can be made into a game like “Dodge the Potholes” or “How Many People are in the Taxi that Just Cut Me Off,” and sometimes, it is just nerve-wracking. Especially for someone just learning how to drive stick on the left side of the road! I think I’m starting to get the hang of it though and the women that I drive to and from Itipini everyday are really nice about it. I stalled out at a four-way stop today and they just said, “It’s okay, Karen. Just take it slow. You got it.” I’ve found that having driving music is also a must. Something to keep you groovin, moving along, and calm is key to not losing your mind. 

Yup... I drive a truck these days.

A Little TLC

This weekend was full of adventure! On Saturday, Sarah and I went to the Mthatha Dam and a nature reserve with her friend Sim and Sim’s daughter, Asiko. It was a beautiful day and, though we didn’t see too many animals (aside from some very distant Zebra and Hartebeests), it was nice to walk around and enjoy the breeze and each other’s company. That night, we went to Jenny’s house to watch the Springboks rugby game with Jenny and Adam. I can’t say I’ve ever watched a rugby match before and it was thoroughly entertaining. On Sunday, we went to church at St. Joseph’s Catholic Church where the preacher is a really eccentric French-Canadian. It was a small community that was very welcoming. I also got recruited to play guitar with them starting next Sunday! Talk about a community with arms wide open. Later on Sunday evening, we went to hang out at Weemama’s house and I got to try my first amagwina! It’s a traditional South African food that’s essentially really dense fried bread. It was delicious!

This morning was a little tough. When we arrived at the clinic, there was someone wrapped in a blanket lying outside the clinic doors on the concrete. My first thought was that they may be dead and I had a minor panic. It turned out that she was okay, just in a lot of pain. We helped her up and took her to sick bay where she could lay down while we waited on Jenny to get there. It turns out this particular woman had nothing but a slight fever and is a kind of known hypochondriac at the clinic, but Sarah was telling me how she had been to the funeral of a good friend this past weekend. I suspect that maybe she was just a little overwhelmed from that and all she wanted was some TLC. Sometimes that happens, though. Sometimes it just feels good to be taken care of - it’s a reassuring feeling that reminds you that, even in the midst of tragedy or sickness, love and tenderness are still present. And I am glad that we could provide that to her.

The Mthatha Dam

Looking across the lake at the nature reserve.

Sim and her daughter, Asiko.

Someone stole the last of my amangwina!

Doing laundry on a sunny Sunday afternoon.

Trading cell numbers with Nonzuzo.

Sarah, Nonzuzo, and myself at Weemama's house!

A view of one side of the clinic...

...and a view back the other way!

There are ALWAYS kids playing on the swingset. It's never empty!

A view of iTipini.

Thanks for tuning in!

Peace,
Karen Langley

3rd Day in Mthatha

It occurred to me that the name of this place may need a little clarification. Mthatha was Umtata (a more British, phonetic spelling) for many years and the more indigenous spelling was reclaimed after apartheid. I believe that’s the long and short of it, anyway. So, if you’re wondering how to pronounce it, the answer is: oom-ta-ta with the stress on the second syllable.

Last night, I got to go to Jenny’s house for dinner. Jenny McConnehie is the woman who runs the clinic and who founded the African Medical Mission with her late husband, Chris. She is absolutely wonderful. She cooked us a fabulous dinner and let me use her hot shower! A young man from Durban named Adam also joined us. He is going to medical school here in Mthatha and is absolutely hilarious. He also hooked us up with some bananas that someone he knew was trying to get rid of. So, this morning, Sarah and I went to pick up said bananas to take to iTipini. We were expecting maybe 3-5 crates and arrived to find about 20-30! We filled up the back of the pick-up and got our upper body strength work-out for the day. We gave away a ton of bananas at iTipini today and still had many more left. Tomorrow we will give them out with our weekly care packages for HIV patients and give whatever is left to the preschoolers. Tomorrow is also the day that we do tutoring for high school students in the afternoon, so I will get to embark on that adventure soon! 

Every day at the clinic, after we are done working and the ladies are cleaning, Sarah and I go out to play with the kids. It’s mostly the preschoolers and every day, someone wants to feel my hair. Today, my watch was the center of attention. Everyone wanted to play with it and try it on and practice putting it back on my wrist and then taking it off and putting it back on and so on. It was really entertaining. The other thing that we do daily at iTipini is that  we start with morning songs and prayers on the veranda. I don’t understand most of the songs because they are in Xhosa, but the children have about 3 different prayers they say in English. Which prayer they say just depends on the day and who is leading but they start and end every one with a call and response. The teacher starts by saying, “Close your eyes,” to which all of the kids say, “I am closing my eyes.” Then the prayer – my favorite one is this:

                I am somebody

                I may be poor

                I may be small

                But I am somebody

                I must be protected

    I must be respected

                Not neglected

                I am GOD’S child

Then the teacher says, “Open your eyes,” to which all of the children reply in unison, “I am opening my eyes…”  WOW. I am going to try and get a recording of it, because I feel like I can’t convey how powerful that closing is. “I am opening my eyes…” they all say together. The way they say the prayer as well is incredibly fascinating as it’s full of all kinds of inflections that we normally wouldn’t put on different words or phrases.

Sadly, I don’t have any pictures of iTipini for you yet, but I will. I feel like I need to get a little bit more settled into and familiar with the community before I break out a camera and start taking pictures of people. I want to build some relationship and trust there first. BUT – soon. I will post pictures of iTipini soon.

Greetings from Mthatha!

I have arrived! After spending a short night in Johannesburg, I hopped on a short plane ride to Mthatha this morning where Sarah met me. Sarah Cardwell is the YASC volunteer who is preceding me here and we have two weeks of overlap time! She is great. After coming to the Bedford Hospital to drop off my stuff, we went straight on to iTipini for a day at the clinic. Tuesday is “baby day” at the clinic and mothers are encouraged to bring in their infants for wellness checks and free baby formula. I was still very glad to see that many of the women who came in to receive free formula were also still breast-feeding as well. Most of the day, I took on menial tasks to keep my hands busy while I sat back and observed a little. I spent the day spooning wintergreen salve into individual containers, recording patient logs, counting pills, and making “MVT Cocktails” (a mix of multi-vitamins) that we give to all of our HIV patients and anyone that could just use a little boost. Sounds pretty simple for a first day, huh? However, being in iTipini today was overwhelming. Small, mindless tasks were about all I could handle. I can’t convey to you the difference between seeing pictures or reading about extreme poverty and walking straight into it. Something about being able to physically touch it makes that level of poverty something real and tangible. No matter what I do or where I am for the rest of my life, I won’t be able to deny in any way that people still live like this in the 21^st century. And not just here either. Shanty-towns and refugee camps are a widespread phenomenon. Why is this level of poverty still allowed to exist? Is it apathy from outside parties, lack of resources, oppression by systems of government and trade, or something else? I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know this: Being in iTipini today is making my night a very enjoyable one. My electricity keeps going on and off, I don’t have any water (and haven’t showered in 3 days), it is very cold here, and birds, roosters, and barking dogs are making it near impossible to sleep. BUT… I ate a full dinner – a HOT dinner, I have blankets to keep me warm, books (and the ability to read) to keep me entertained, a tile floor, a bed, a sturdy place to live, and the knowledge that I will probably never have to live in such deep poverty. However, this is not about have’s and have not’s, and it is most definitely not about using extreme poverty as a gauge of my own fortune. This is about enjoying the simple things of life that many of us so often take for granted. It is about counting our blessings rather than our misfortunes and giving thanks for the things we do have even in light of things that we don’t. This journey is going to be a very interesting one and I feel that my eyes and heart will be opened in ways I never imagined. Thank you for walking with me as I explore life in Mthatha. It means a great deal to me.

Now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for… PICTURE TIME!                         

 Mountains on the way to Mthatha (view from the plane).

Country-side getting closer to town. Don't you love how colorful the houses all are?

Rondavel: take one!

Rondavel: take 2.

Ceiling of my rondavel!

Night stand of home.

Bread that Sarah and I picked up to take to iTipini.

 A little off-roading short cut we took!

Thanks again for tuning in!

Peace,
Karen Langley

Life is Short

I’ve been thinking a lot today about impermanence and how often our memories are the only second glance that we get of things. There are many people, places, and objects that I will never again see in my life; even those things that I expect to see tomorrow when I wake up may not be there. I’m thinking about all of this as I’m preparing to leave my home for a year to go to a place where the impermanence of things may be more tangible. Not only do I feel like it’s more tangible in the lifestyle, but I am going into this knowing that the people I meet and the places I see will be around me for a mere 12 months. Rather, I will be around them for a mere 12 months. Does that mean that the relationships that I form there, the food I try, the landscapes I see, or the culture I experience will be any less real? Will the knowledge of that impermanence keep me from fully engaging? I hope that this will never happen. No matter the cost, love and life are always worth it.

So where is the balance there? How do we balance the need to be grounded and the attachment we have to things with the acceptance that they, like us, are impermanent. The only answer I can come up with is not to fret and to enjoy every moment to its fullest. Life is about accepting your own impermanence and living out the mystery of whatever you are. A blade of grass could be here today, gone tomorrow; but that doesn't mean that the grass is any less green now. This house could be gone tomorrow, but people still dwell in it now. You could be gone tomorrow, but you're here now. Make the most of it, because tomorrow it will change. And life will still move on. The cycle will continue. Beauty will still exist. And suffering will still exist. Everything will still be impermanent. And change will keep happening. Trying to change any of that will be the death and heartache of anyone. Clutching to objects, people, and places to find something to keep you afloat will only make the lot of you sink quicker. Instead, flip to your back, float with your own body, and enjoy the passing scenery. None of us know what effect the stream may have on us or where it may take us. The stream may not even have a set path, as every drop that passes is a new and different drop. Trying to control the stream is an uphill battle that you will never win. So just float on and find out the ways in which you too can grow and change.

“Life is short and we do not have much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us. So be swift to love and make haste to be kind.”

I invite any thoughts any of you may have on the subject. Don't be shy!

Peace,
Karen

Orientation in Toronto

Hello, downtown Toronto!

 [View from my room]

We had our orientation in Toronto for the last two weeks and it was an incredible experience, two fold. First, the group of people I was with were absolutely wonderful. There were 5 other YASCers there that I met at the discernment weekend in February, another young adult that is going to El Salvador, two Episcopal priests going to Congo and Honduras, a woman going to India, a man that has just spent a year in Sudan and is returning for another year, and two people that are from the United Church of Canada that are going to Palestine with the Ecumenical Accompaniment program. The different perspectives that were brought by all parties were enriching and enlightening and I can't imagine a better group to go through this training process with. The other part of the 14 days that made it that much better was the city - Toronto had so much going on and had things that satisfied all different types of interests. Because of the rich culture in the city, we spent our evenings together, building community by going to concerts, riding bikes, seeing street performers, checking out local pubs, watching movies, visiting art installments/galleries, or just walking around and getting some fresh air and good conversation in. It was also the first time I ever got to ride on a subway or a street car! Here are just a few pictures for you all.

 Here's a labyrinth that is downtown and open to the public. How cool!

 Larry (Sudan), myself, and Kathleen (Hong Kong)!

Katie (Nagoya), Lynn (India), Nicole (Japan), and Jan (Palestine)!

 An (Mexico City) and Nicole (Japan) on the Subway!

BLACK SQUIRRELS!!!

Change of Plans

Dear friends,

I have encountered a change of plans. I should really adapt this as a mantra as it seems to be the story of my life! I like it that way, though. A change of plans always makes things more exciting and more tangible. Plus, I get to use my mad MacGyver skills. So here's the change: I will no longer be going to work with HOPE Africa near Cape Town. BUT, I will be working on the other side of the country. My placement has been moved to the Eastern Cape province in the city of Mthatha (also spelled Umtata). There, I'm going to live and work in the Itipini Community Project clinic! Who would have thought that I might be called into the medical field? I don't know my exact job description yet, but I will get back with you all as soon as I know more. In the mean time, here's a mini-documentary someone put together about Itipini; check it out!




Peace,
Karen

Beginning a New Journey

Where do I start? This has been such an incredible year. I am graduating college with my bachelors, went to California for the first time, lived in my first apartment, have a wonderful job and an adorable dog, and I have fallen in love. To top it off, my dream of being able to do service work abroad is becoming a reality. I have been accepted into the Young Adult Service Corps which is an extension of the national Episcopal Church's global mission work. Now, now, I know what you're thinking. I know that the word "missionary" has all of this residue left over from the Crusades, colonization, Native American history, etc. However, here is the difference. In the Young Adult Service Corps, the focus is works, not words. The goal is to reach out and help our neighbors and build partnerships and understanding, not to proselytize. The goal is to share ourselves with one another and to experience the grace of living in community together. And that, my friends, is exactly what I am going to be doing. Specifically, I will be doing this in South Africa near Cape Town. I am going to be working with an organization called HOPE Africa (check out their link in the side bar!) that is a grassroots effort started in the Anglican Diocese of South Africa to offer support to people in and around Cape Town. HOPE Africa has it's hands in all different types of programs; they offer education and technical training, day care services, soup kitchens, and have a program called "Back to Eden" that teaches women about small-scale farming to feed their families and sell their produce at market.

I will be gone for 12 months, but I will have access to the internet which brings me to why I've set up this blog! I want to have a way to keep in contact with all of you and a way to give you updates about what I'm doing. Currently, I am in the process of starting to get everything together for this journey. Just three days ago, I got shots for Typhoid, Polio, and Tetnus all at once (OUCH!), and I am anxiously awaiting my passport to get here. I am also working to soak up every day in Oklahoma while I'm still here. I have always been set on moving away, but I know that I am going to miss this place. Just as I am going to miss all of you.

I want to thank each and every one of you for the roles that you have played in my life in shaping who I am today. All of you are how I got to be here and I am so grateful. A thousand times, thank you!

Peace,
Karen Langley